Darfuria

I haven’t had much to write about of late, hence the lack of posting.

I’ve always wanted something to instantly send me to sleep, which didn’t have any side effects. Tallis suggested a simple button that sent you to sleep, which I think is a fantastic idea.

When ever I get into bed, my mind races and I think more than I do in the day, into the deepest depths of deepness. I go over memories to the finest detail, re-live situations in my imagination, and changing things so that I can fly or breathe fire or something. I remember lots of things people have said to me, and this often keeps me awake for hours. It would be so nice to just be able to get into bed and zone out, and would make life so much easier at times.

I want to write a book, but I’m having trouble getting pixels on the screen.

Whilst making toast this morning, I suddenly got an idea for a new type of cutting board.

Basically you have a rubber cutting board with a rotating shaft at one end. On this you can place a roll of clingfilm or whatever you fancy. The general idea would enable you to roll the material across the cutting board so that you could prepare food on top of it. When you are done preparing you simply remove said material and throw it away, reducing the amount of mess in the kitchen. Alternatively you could prepare your food and then wrap it in said material quite easily.

Edit

“How’s your grammar?”
“She’s fine thanks.”

No, not, as you might think, the back pocket on your jeans. A huge back pocket.

I was heading into town today, and I had the forms for my passport (in their envelope). It was really nice and sunny today, so I wasn’t wearing a coat or anything, however it occured to me that if it rained, the forms could easily get wet. I then had this idea, which isn’t very summer-friendly, but I liked it.

I always find bags really annoying to carry when I just want to carry a book or two, or a few letters, when I can’t fit them in my pockets, but I don’t want to hold them in my hands. So how about having a jumper/coat with a big zip up pocket across the back, which is waterproof for obvious reasons. You could put a book or two in it, or generally anything that wasn’t too fat, but could be carried around in that fashion. Of course carrying something like an A4 folder would be unfomfortable if you were to sit down, but it could easily be taken off or taken out.

I thought t’was a good idea!

Snoofling, to snoofle.

Yes, I have finally invented a word for that thing cats do when they push their head against and under your out-stretched arm, and that is snoofling. Quite why I came up with this word, I don’t know, but it is now the definition of that action.

Okay, thanks has to go to Natalie for making me think of this. ♥

We were actually talking about something which I said to someone earlier, the conversation went like this:

Person: “Excuse me, could you tell me where Blah street is?”
Me: “Sure. It’s about two days south, as the turtle travels.”
Person: “Erm… Sorry, where?”
Me: “Across the road!”

That lead to me telling Natalie about this, and then the conversation going something along the lines of:

Me: “Besides, laughter is good for the sole. Erm, soul… Laughing shoes! Genius!”

So, laughing shoes.

Pressure-activated shoes which emit various different outburts of gigglage, chuckulation, laughter, guffawing and general hysterical cachinnation. The harder and faster (oo-err) the shoes are pressed against a surface, the louder and more frequent the laughter would be.

I thought something like this would actually be quite entertaining in moderate doses. If they were made as a special edition sort of shoe, released only on special occasions to special people, then we’d have a load of retards hopping about…

No.

What I meant was giving them to the athlets of the 400m sprint, or something. It would really brighten the olympics up if there was a 400 metre sprint of explosive giggling and sniggering as the athletes raced towards the finish line.