On the third passport form now. And the third time that something has been done wrong. This time they tell me that some dates have to be the same, and one date can’t be later than another date. Which all in all, is fair enough. However, had this been documented somewhere then the mistake wouldn’t have been made. Now I have to go back and get the signature from the person countersigning my passport. Then I have to wait until Saturday and put up with crowds and crowds of fucking pathetic people in town, bumbling around because they don’t have anything better to do. Then someone else at the Post Office will tell me that something else is wrong, and I’ll have to do something else.

They also told me that it can take up to, and usually does take, 6 weeks for a passport to be returned, and that’s if they don’t need any other information. All of this bullshit should just be done electronically, they should send you the form, you sign it, send it back and everything is done. It’s almost as if the government don’t want people leaving the country, which wouldn’t surprise me. Well, so much for getting to go to Ireland in June. Maybe if the passport regulations weren’t written by a complete and utter CUNT, it’d be half done by now, and I’d actually be looking forwards to going.

Now everything is just as unclear as it was two months ago, and it’s pissing me off so much.

The people who work at the central Post Office in Exeter are fucking stupid, though. Twice I’ve been in there with my passport forms. They ask me if I want to use their checking service, which costs an additional £7. Both times I have said yes, and both times they have verified that I need to make some changes. However, neither time have they charged me £7 for checking my passport. Stupid people.

I asked if I could fast track my passport. When I first picked up the forms a month or so ago, the woman gave them to me and said “If you post them with us and pay £10 we can fast track your application so that you get a faster return time”. I look on the Passport website (because the fees aren’t even specified in the documents sent with the passport) – click the image on the right to see the information I saw. However, when I asked at the central Post Office today, the woman said that because it’s my first passport I can’t do that. So, who do you believe? Is the turnaround 3 weeks or 6 weeks? Can you or can you not fast track it? Man, this system is so fucking terrible.

There are now three organisations which are on my “I wish you would just fucking die” list. There was one this morning; Tiscali. Now there’s the British Post Office and the Identity & Passport Service. I seriousy hope that all three businesses are ended in the most malicious, prejudice, painful, messy and torturing way possible. I know it’s not the fault of the staff that I can’t get a passport, a decent internet connection or a service at my local Post Office. Actually, it probably is. Either way, I don’t care. Burn them all, just for the sake of a period of time where I can have an evil grin on my face because other people have suffered.

I know I’m evil.

I was tempted to contact Tony Blair about the whole thing, but he doesn’t reply to e-mails, and he can burn if he thinks that I’m going to pick up a pen on his account.

Ah well, and people wonder why I don’t smile often. Maybe if things like this didn’t happen there’d be something to smile about. England sucks.