Darfuria

Has it ever occurred to you that cats are entirely incapable of imagining that there is nothing interesting behind a closed door? It’s as if they believe that if a door is closed, somebody is hiding something interesting from them, and from that moment onwards they make it their soul purpose to shout strange, incomprehendable words at the door, until the secrets beyond are revealed.

This usually happens when the person inside the room becomes tired of a cat shouting at a door and opens it, at which point the cat bounds in like a melodramatic gay rabbit on a trampoline, and begins to inspect the room rather thoroughly, occasionally announcing its presence in a very “Yes, I am here.” manner.

I wonder if, in the future, we will have technologies that allow us to translate what animals say into a language we understand. I wonder what a cat says when it is standing outside the magical entrance to the treasures beyond.

“Hey man! Open the door! Dude, open the door, please! I gotta see what’s behind it, maaaan! Whatcha hidin’? Whatcha hidin’ from me, man? Open the dooooor! Duuuuude! Open it, pleaseee! I gotta see! I gotta see what’s behind it! What’s behind the door! Tell me, man! Are you hidin’ somethin’? You got kittie drugs!? Kittie drugs, and you’re hidin’ them from me, ,man!? C’mon! Open. The. Door!”

Perhaps Lost in Translation, from my previous post, can help us.

_ man of hé! It opens the door! The type, the door, satisfied is
opened! I took by, for what_s of vedergli, maaaan! Hidin de Whatcha of
hidin of Whatcha _ _ of me, man? It opens the dooooor! Duuuuude! It
opens it, pleaseee! I took to traverse, the end to see! I took to
traverse, for what_s of vedergli! What_s behind the door! Legend I,
man! , you he are, hidin of somethin _ _ this that you kept them to
drugs from the kittie! Drugs of Kittie and hidin of you_re _ he of me,
man! C_mon! Opened. Carriers! _

I love my cat, but sometimes I do wish he could become ethereal or something. Having a cat that could become temporarily non-corporeal to pass through doors would be pretty awesome.

My friend TigerDX pointed me to this website, which basically translates the text you input back and fourth from English through 5 different languages. It displays the result of each translation so that you can see the stages. The results are very, very funny.

Here are some of mine:

Original English Text:
If a cat ate a banana and then sicked on a tree, the tree would be most displeased and would probably spend the rest of the day quite irritated.

Translated back to English:
If a then cat to eat a banana and in a tree sicked, the tree to be of
the forehead and the rest of the caused newspaper very happens
probably.

Original English Text:
The spoon was on the table that was in the room that was painted brown that had a door that was made of chalk in a house in the jungle amongst the trees filled with apples under the sky that glittered purple

Translated back to English:
The spoon was in the vector, that one that it was in the space, that
was brown was painted, which one had a door, that one was given to
form is of the chalk in a house in giungla under the trees, that one
fulled above of apples under the sky, that has ignited high-red

Original English Text:
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood?

Translated back to English:
How much a cramp of marmot of America works with wood, if marmot of
America that a wood would play

Original English Text:
Knock Knock?
Who’s there?
Repeat.
Repeat who?
Who who who who who…

Translated back to English:
Effect of the effect? Here who is? Retort. You relaunch, of whom? Who
the one that this…

This is fantastic!

Interjections generally have no grammatical purpose, and are just used to express emotion, yet when you speak to someone online, typically the word “lol” is uttered more time than you’d imagine the participants of a conversation to be able to laugh.

Therefore, I am going to (attempt to) abstain from using the acronym “lol” when talking to other people.

Too often do I see people use it as just a simple reply, when not even a smile can be seen on their lips.

This is my rebellion.