I’ve discovered that the / key makes up about 60% of my typos, simply because I type at a speed where I always miss the shift key when I go to type a question mark.
Because of this, I have decided I am going to make my own keyboard, or at least find a way of remapping keys, so that when shift is held down and the / key is pressed, you will get a f0rward slash, otherwise you will get a question mark, as it should be.
Okay, thanks has to go to Natalie for making me think of this. ♥
We were actually talking about something which I said to someone earlier, the conversation went like this:
Person: “Excuse me, could you tell me where Blah street is?”
Me: “Sure. It’s about two days south, as the turtle travels.”
Person: “Erm… Sorry, where?”
Me: “Across the road!”
That lead to me telling Natalie about this, and then the conversation going something along the lines of:
Me: “Besides, laughter is good for the sole. Erm, soul… Laughing shoes! Genius!”
So, laughing shoes.
Pressure-activated shoes which emit various different outburts of gigglage, chuckulation, laughter, guffawing and general hysterical cachinnation. The harder and faster (oo-err) the shoes are pressed against a surface, the louder and more frequent the laughter would be.
I thought something like this would actually be quite entertaining in moderate doses. If they were made as a special edition sort of shoe, released only on special occasions to special people, then we’d have a load of retards hopping about…
No.
What I meant was giving them to the athlets of the 400m sprint, or something. It would really brighten the olympics up if there was a 400 metre sprint of explosive giggling and sniggering as the athletes raced towards the finish line.
Been meaning to make this post for a little while, but have never gotten around to taking the pictures for it.
There are some amusing signs in Ottery, but they are weird. Either that or just damn right stupid. You’ll see what I mean.
The sticker in the window
It’s funny. I only noticed this one today, but I walk past it two times per day, and have done for a few months now. It took me a while to get it, and then I thought “that really is the most pointless thing I have ever seen in a window, ever.”. Maybe its sole purpose is to just play on people’s minds until they get it. I don’t know.
The B&B
As opposed to strange, this is something which is beginning to make me want to start my very own grammatical graffiti, where I go around and add various punctuation to words and sentences to make the writing come across completely differently. In this one, for example, I want to add a comma after “Bed with Indian”, to make it sound like you’re getting a bed with an Indian, and breakfast.
The demonic church of death!
Yeah, I was bored… and Photoshop was open. Shutup!
You know when you’re sat in an exam, and you’re practically tearing your hair out, searching endlessly around you, looking at the people close to you to see if you can see how they are coming up with the answer to the question you haven’t got a clue about. Either that or the question is so fucking stupid, or simple, that you just feel like it was written to mock you.
Either way you eventually get bored and set about annoying/entertaining the person who will be marking your test by giving stupid answers, or drawing silly pictures.
Here are some of the most amazing ones I’ve seen:
I’m not a horrible person. I speak my mind, whilst other people are so wound up on making good impressions and being nice all the time. Bollocks to that. If something has pissed you off, speak it. Why should we care what other people think about what we say? Humans spend so much of their life obsessing and worrying over such pointless things, and then life is over.
People dwell on the past and think about the future so much that the present just fades away, and they become an auto-pilot being passing through time at the same speed as everyone else, but with nobody home.
I’m very one-dimensional when it comes to feelings. By this, I mean that if one thing is getting me down then nothing else will make me happy until that one thing is better. Because of this I have actually not been myself for a very long time now, everyone has probably realised that.
I’m not going to say what is wrong with me, because if you don’t know then you’re obviously too blinded by false-impressions and and don’t know me at all. Then again, if you don’t know me and want to get to know me then feel free to get in touch.
I’m not “arsey” or obnoxious, I just hate stupid questions. It annoys me to no end when someone hasn’t listened to me. My memory is huge, beyond belief. I can remember conversations and events that people never even think twice about. I very rarely forget a name or a face, either. I will notice if you haven’t listened to me.
I hate how much of a routine life is. What is the point in living 7 days per week, 5 of which you go to work, and the other two pass so fucking quickly it’s like they didn’t even exist? Who decided that to be able to live in this country, on this planet, we had to work a 5 day week? I mean, I’ve only been in work for 5 months and I can feel how monotonous it becomes already. To work from the age of 18 to 65 is just insane. I hope things have either changed or I am long gone before that happens, because I couldn’t deal with the same things happening week after week.
I like it when different things happen all the time, otherwise I just lose interest.
I am snappy at times, I know that. Everyone who knows me knows that. But then, if I’m being snappy, don’t you think half of the reason might be your fault? I mean, seriously, if you are saying something which is causing me to respond in an agressive manner then shut up or something.
There is one person in my life that really does annoy me, but I love her to bits. I don’t even think she thinks I love her. I think she truly believes I hate her, but she is so wrong. I just get so annoyed by the way she leads her life, just like she gets annoyed by the way I lead mine. I cannot stand the amount of time she wastes with the amount of talent she has at her fingertips. Although she does ask me a hundred fucking million stupid questions every passing day, and she hardly ever listens to me, I do love her a lot, and my life without her would be nothing compared to what I have now.
Maybe one day, when everything that has gone wrong sorts itself out, she will realise how much she means to me, and I will buy her that damn dishwasher (you know who you are).
I have been anticipating a change in my life for so long. I am so tired of where I live, and the people I do and don’t know. I know the changes that you want to be made have to be made by you, but it obviously doesn’t always work like that. One day things will work. One day things will be how they should be.
One day…
